There’s this girl in your online dating community whose picture and profile are haunting you. You’ve been looking at it over and over again, but haven’t had the guts to simply take the first step to contact her. Firstly, you don’t want to ruin your chances with a lame subject line. And what if you actually get a response? How do you take the conversation to the next level?

It’s surprisingly easy if you follow these tried and tested tips.

Write a Catchy Subject Line

“Hi, how are you?” or “Hey, beautiful” are so NOT catchy. In fact, any girl worth dating wouldn’t bother responding to such a boring subject line. She probably got 50 more of those before yours landed in her inbox. You’ve got to grab her attention with something else. Preferably something personal. Read her profile for some inspiration. Then come up with something like: “I like your taste in movies.” Follow it up with a reference to a famous movie: “What did you think of Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant?”

Continue the Conversation

Bingo! She responded to your catchy subject line. What now? Instead of panicking and reverting back to boring generalities, impress her with your own opinion of Leonardo’s performance. This clears the way to talk about other things. Take your cue from her answers. Just don’t linger on one subject for too long. You might, for example, mention how freezing cold Leonardo was in The Revenant and ask her whether she’s a summer or a winter person herself. If you’re clever, you will mirror her personality. If she’s funny, try one of your best jokes on her. Lastly, always end with a question to (almost) guarantee a response.

Netspeak is out

Show the girl some respect by taking the time to write out a proper subject line and subsequent messages. Leave the “ur” and “luv” and “i c” or “it’s going 2 b gr8” for your friends and family if they don’t care about being written to in abbreviations. You may not be the world’s spelling champion, but if you’re online you sure as hell can find a spell checker. It will impress the girl if you at least look a bit educated. “Haha” and “lol” to show her you’re laughing should be the only abbreviations you use. By the way, a good sense of humour can bring you far with a girl. Half the battle is won once you make her laugh.

Be honest and unassuming

Research has shown that girls are more likely to respond to and eventually date guys who use words like “apologise”, “sorry”, and even “awkward” in their communication. You will get far by owning up to your weaknesses. If writing isn’t your strong point, say so. Focus on the things you are good at, without sounding like a big bragger. Apologise when you make a wrong assumption and be considerate when you discuss personal matters such as religion. Compliment her statements by using words like “fascinating”, “inspiring” and “awesome” rather than complimenting her on her appearance with words like “sexy” or “hot”. Make her understand you see and admire the girl behind the looks.

Keep it Short

Don’t write long, gut-wrenching sentences even if you are a literary genius and know how to spell. It will spoil all the points you earned with your catchy subject line. Give her a reason to continue to reply to your messages. She doesn’t have time to wait endlessly for you to finish speaking your mind or talking about yourself. Rather give her more opportunities to talk about herself. The key is to ask her questions based on the information you have about her and watch her bask in the glow of all the attention.

Picture Source: Stuart Mills / FreeDigitalPhotos.net